Don't Ever Look Back
by Five Minutes Til Bedtime
Summary: Kurt boards a train to New York. One-shot.


Title: **Don't Ever Look Back**

Fandom: Glee

Summary: Kurt boards a train to New York. One-shot.

Word Count: 924

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As the back of his boyfriend's blazer disappeared down the escalator, Kurt allow the frown he had been holding back for days finally come to surface. Bye, Blaine, he thought bitterly. No, I love you too and of course it's okay that we had our goodbye kiss in the car, I know the fact that there are people here who might see us is far more important than that I'm moving far, far away and won't see you until Christmas. And no, you don't have to hug me either – of course my obvious gayness is a sign that you shouldn't touch me at all because, again, people are watching.

A crunch told him that he had just crumpled his train ticket and that he was being ridiculous. Smoothing out the glossy piece of paper, Kurt's frown lifted as he read the two most important words of his life – New York. This was it. He was finally going. And while his departure didn't have all the flairs of Rachel's teary goodbye (Blaine insisted that they not cause a scene – Kurt agreed only because he had no intention of saying goodbye to the people who mattered) he was still completing a lifelong dream. He was finally leaving Lima far behind. Hello, New York, Kurt Hummel is coming for you.

Adjusting the strap in his messenger bag, Kurt waited for his train to arrive anxiously. He'd sent his all of his luggage ahead to his dorm room days ago where it would be waiting for him when he arrived. He had wanted to take his Navigator but eventually his dad had agreed that taking a big car to the big city simply wasn't practical. Train tickets were cheap anyway, and the money they made from selling his car would help pay for his tuition and bills – at least, what the scholarships he'd won wouldn't cover.

NYU – unlike certain other institutes that shall not be named – adored Kurt Hummel, or at least that was how Kurt felt. They had given him a ten-thousand dollar renewable scholarship for five-hundred words on his struggles as a gay kid in a hick town. That same story had gotten him another seven-thousand in other scholarships leaving him sitting pretty. Combined with his trust fund and the money he'd saved up working the garage all those years left Kurt with no need for loan or anything else – unlike Rachel who was already thousands in debt before ever taking a single class.

Of course, Ms. Pillsbury was right – NYU didn't have all that Kurt wanted, but it did have an outstanding fashion program and other musical departments. Kurt _was _handy on a piano and, when it came down to it, he loved clothes more than food and sunlight combined. He'd adapted – or he'd transfer, either way he was content with the way almost everything worked out.

Was he still pissed that after a kick ass audition he was turned down when Rachel choked and was accepted? Yes and he suspected he always would be.

Did he wish that he had gotten into NYADA and not NYU? A little, though he would admit most of that stemmed more from a desire not to lose than anything.

Was he more than a little annoyed at Blaine's attitude towards the end?

Yes. In fact, he was more than a little annoyed with Blaine in general. He had not forgotten that when Blaine texted Sebastian it was family fun and when he jokingly texted Chanler he got a song about cheating in front of all his friends. He also hadn't forgotten Spin the Bottle, the Gap Attack, Baby Penguin, and the incident outside of Scandals. Quite frankly, Kurt had been growing sick of Blaine's oblivious, self-absorbed antics before they had even gotten together – which was, of course, the second Blaine decided that he wanted Kurt after all.

The station shook as the train pulled in. Kurt stepped back as people deported, getting in line to get on behind a lady with very fake orange hair.

Here he was, leaving for New York, while his boyfriend was driving back to the same old town and the same old drama. He was finally achieving his dreams and Blaine couldn't even manage a quick kiss in public.

The line moved. Kurt placed one foot on the step and waited a pause – hesitating.

Here he was, about to begin everything had had been working so hard to achieve in the city of his dreams. All of this and he was still hung up thinking about Blaine. Why? Why did he always do this? The truth was, Blaine hadn't made Kurt happy in a very long time. The truth was, the complete lack of physical attention was making Kurt go mad. If his boyfriend only wanted him when drunk, that the hell did that mean?

The truth was, Kurt has hesitated the first time he'd said "I love you too" to Blaine – and he was still hesitating now.

Well, no longer.

Kurt put both feet onto the train and walked bravely forward.

When he sat down, he did not look out the window or open his vibrating phone to hear Blaine's last – hidden – goodbyes.

He would Skype Blaine later that night and gently but firmly end it. He would only get pissed when instead of protesting, Blaine seemed oddly relieved and a little guilty.

Family friendly? Right. He wished Blaine good luck with holding down Sebastian and hung up.

When he woke up the next morning there would be no hesitating.


End file.
